10 Tips for Beating a Crush: Tip 8

Anastasis Faith

Yeah, this is a rough tip. I mean, don’t we all want to grab the phone and text that guy and be like, “Hey, you coming to (fill in the blank) today?” Don’t we all want to “coincidentally” show up at that concert or restaurant he’s at?
This tip is mostly for you if you’re trying to eradicate a crush. It is applicable to managing a crush, but if you’re a strong Christian girl and you like a strong Christian guy, then you definitely should be getting to know each other. However, if you find yourself becoming obsessed with a guy—good crush or bad crush—taking some time off is definitely something you should consider.
If you’re looking to manage your crush, sometimes spending less time with him can mean not following him around. However, if you’re looking to eradicate a sinful crush, it may be wise—in some circumstances—to actually avoid seeing him several times a week. I wish there was a formula for how much time you could spend with someone without falling in love. Unfortunately, there isn’t. Since I’m not an expert in this area, my advice to you would be to use your judgment.
This also applies to social media, emailing, and texting. If you email your crush, and you don’t want to completely break it off, then waiting hours or even days to respond might be smart. I know it’s hard, but we never said beating a crush was supposed to be easy.
If you’re not convinced, here are several reasons to spend less time with him.
First, it can help you diagnose how much you rely on him. If you’re all dumpy and depressed when he’s not with you, then that is a major red flag that you’re depending upon a sinful human being to supply your happiness, satisfaction, identity, etc. Sisters, God didn’t make us to find fulfillment in a guy. God made us to find fulfillment in Him. He made us with needs that only He can meet. When we try to satisfy those needs in a guy, we’re just left broken. Guys can’t satisfy you. I can’t emphasize this enough. It’s a truth God has taught me that I keep forgetting. So He keeps reminding me that He’s the only One who can be everything I need and desire, and I keep coming back to Him…and then drifting off again. It’s a constant battle, but you must hold onto the truth.
Despite being caught up in the moment of an exciting crush, remember that guys can’t satisfy you. Even if you feel like they will and can’t see how they won’t, just believe it. Because it’s true. And God will show you that He’s all you need, but you first have to just believe it.
So spending less time with a guy can help us determine how much we’re leaning on a guy for our needs.
Second, it can help you get a grip on your emotions. Ladies, we’re emotional. I’m emotional. And that’s fine. That’s how God created us. But that doesn’t mean that we should be driven by our emotions. Spending time away from a guy can help us clear out the emotions and think straight. This has helped me a ton. As someone whose heart gets overwhelmed by feelings, having some time to cool off gives me the ability to sort through the good and the bad and make a decision based on God’s Word and my head. Not my feelings.
Not everyone is wired the same way I am, but one thing that is super helpful to me is to find a quiet place—I prefer outside—with a notebook and pen. I then just pour out all my emotions, which is usually a mixed spaghetti disaster of joy, sadness, anger, frustration, love, and confusion. It doesn’t have to be coherent. I’m not letting anyone else read it. But it calms me down and helps me refocus. Using the time I’m away from a guy to get a grip on my emotions is so helpful.
Third, spending less time with a guy can help you save your heart. You’re not going to get as attached to someone you see once a week as you would to someone you saw every day. If it’s a bad crush, you will find yourself far less vulnerable to those feelings the less you see him. If you’re trying to not become obsessed, some time away can help you refocus on the real Love of your life.
Despite the difficulty of not seeing someone that you want to see, it is a very valuable tool in helping you beat a crush. The less time I spend with someone, the less I think about him, the easier I can control my emotions, and the better decisions I can make as a result.
Now, if God is first place in your life, and you like a strong Christian guy, then I’m going to be the last person to tell y’all that you can’t get together and get to know each other more. There are time and places for spending time with a guy. I just want to caution you to make sure to keep God first place in your heart.
Practical Tips:
-If he’s not texting/emailing you, don’t text/email him. Don’t start a correspondence (See Tip 7) if you’re trying to emotionally detach from him. It won’t help anything.
-Don’t always keep track of where he is and when. Give the guy some space! Don’t run after him like a desperate puppy. That’s not attractive. If he wants to be around you, he’ll make an effort to be where you are.
-Use the time that you would have used to chase a guy to chase after God. This could mean spending more time in your Bible and praying. This could mean more time in ministry or service. Whatever it is for you, I can promise you that you will never regret spending time with God.
-Spend more time with people who point you toward God. Invest in the godly girls around you in fun and meaningful ways! A couple weeks after I got my driver’s license, I went out for frozen yogurt with one of the godly college girls from my church. It’s so refreshing to me when I get to have a deep conversation with a like-minded girl. I’m always so blessed and energized. Be humble enough to open up. Spend time with people who desire to pursue Jesus with their whole heart, even if they’re weak and struggling. If their heart is in the right place, you will be so refreshed.
-Keep track of how many hours you spend with a guy each week. Decide if you’re spending too much time with him. Sometimes, you can’t do anything about it. If he does like you and follows you everywhere, you won’t be able to help that very much beyond hiding in the ladies’ restroom. :) However, if you do have control, try cutting down on the hours you spend with him. If you don’t have control, then talk to your parents and see if they can help.
-If necessary, avoid the places he is going. I do not recommend switching churches because of a guy, but I have heard of some people who have done that. I’m more talking about that dumb movie a group is going to see. You could go and hang out with him, or perhaps stay home and be productive getting homework done. If a crush is causing you to sin, then you need to take extreme measures to eradicate it.

“If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.”
Matthew 5:30

Do you think that you spend too much time with your crush—either in person or over email/text/phone/etc? If so, what do you plan on changing? Any stories or thoughts? Share in the comments!

Anastasis Faith / Author & Editor

Anastasis is a Texas girl who enjoys writing, blogging, and music. You can connect with her here on her blog, or at morningglorypursuingjesus@yahoo.com


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