When I was younger, we lived almost thirty minutes away from our church—or really
anything in town. There was no “quick trip to the grocery store.” We were way out
in the country. Car rides can be pretty boring, but I always found them to be a
wonderful opportunity to daydream about my crush.
The daydreams were anything from replaying over the last time I saw him to imaging his face when I walked down the aisle.
Need I say that I often daydreamed about things that would, and usually could, never happen?
And I made daydreaming a habit of mine.
Daydreams can certainly become oppressive. They are
powerful. This is probably the hardest, but most effective way to beat a crush.
From my own life experience as well as conversations I’ve had with other girls,
daydreaming is one of the easiest ways to get emotionally attached and one of
the hardest things to beat. It’s fun and it feels good. From our vantage point,
it also doesn’t seem to have any consequences. In truth, however, the
consequences are very dangerous.
Our second tip, then, is this.
You can get emotionally attached extremely easily by daydreaming and before you know it, you’ve
given your heart away. When you’re married, do you want to be plagued by
thoughts of crushes you had when you were younger? Or would you rather be
completely devoted to your husband and honoring Jesus?
A good rule of thumb, also mentioned in Tip 1, applies: don’t
think about him in a way that you wouldn’t think about your brother.
For those of you looking to get rid of your crush, you must do this. Even if you apply ever
other tip that’s going to be posted, if you keep daydreaming about him, everything else will be a waste. Fighting
a crush and getting rid of it means you can’t indulge in those fleeting moments
of pleasure.
For those of you trying to manage your crushes, daydreaming
is one of the big things that can cause you to desire The Next Step in the
relationship. It can make you want to move things along faster than they
should. If he’s not serious about a future with you, it will probably scare him
off if you are.
Daydreaming gives away your emotions and heart faster than
you can blink. It’s extremely dangerous, but it is possible to beat it. Here are the stories of two girls who are
actively fighting their daydreams.
As Taylor
writes,
Do you ever go in
default mode and all you can think about is one guy or trying to determine what
he's doing at this very moment? I know I do. After several months, I asked
myself why this guy was all I would think about. Why was I letting him control
my life? I am not even old enough to be in a relationship with intentions of
marrying soon.
That is when I decided
to stop daydreaming about this guy with my every waking and sleeping moments. I
decided to live my life with purposeful thinking and letting Jesus control my
thoughts.
Asking God to control
all my thoughts is so much better than being buried in daydreams about someone.
Are you willing to fight daydreaming? It’s a hard task that
seems to be never ending, full of ups and downs. But as Taylor said, it’s so much better to let God
control our thoughts than to daydream.
Christy shares her story.
I have a sneaky little
habit of getting attached to people, and this can become dangerous if it is
left unchecked. In high school, I knew very few boys who were serious about
anything. But in college, I met guys who I knew were prayer warriors, guys
who exhibited joy even in trials, guys who really loved their families—the kind of
things that I was attracted to. So then I would start to fixate my mind on them
and daydream about all the possible ways our friendship could have gone.
I had a couple crushes
in college. They began by “liking" the guy, which is pretty innocent and
normal, and then becoming their friend. After that, it would develop into
basically daydreaming about our future together (I'm kind of a hopeless
romantic). Whenever it got to this stage and I realized it, I would have to
mentally force myself to stop thinking this way. It was unhealthy, because it
caused me to desire something that is not mine—a romantic relationship with a
boy that I am not in a committed relationship with.
The best defense I
have found is prayer. Usually, the prayer includes these aspects:
-thanking God for
giving me the friendship and example of a godly man.
-asking Him to give me
clarity in my emotions/discernment.
-praying that God
would help me to desire Him above all else and have peace in my singleness.
-praying for the guy
to have discernment and boldness to initiate something between us, if that is
God's will.
Both Taylor and Christy were willing to put God first in
their thought life. I encourage all
of you to make a commitment to stop daydreaming, hard as it may be. But
remember that it can only be accomplished in God’s strength, through His grace
in your life.
Practical Action Tips:
-Setting up
springboards for your mind.
When you find your mind drifting to
daydreaming, you need to jump to a different thought. Bible verses are great
springboards. Check out The Springboard Approach by Liza Grace for more details on how to do that.
-Pinpoint when you’re
most vulnerable to daydreams.
Is it during history class? Take more
notes—or at least doodle! Something to keep your focus. Find out when it’s
easiest for you to slip into daydreams. Then arrange your day so that
daydreaming at that time isn’t an option.
-Live in the moment.
As someone recently wrote me, “God's will is for me to be in that moment,
engaged with the people I am with or doing the tasks I need to be doing. When
you daydream, you rob others of your mental and emotional presence, and you are
sinning when you ignore the moment God has put you in.”
-Follow Christy’s advice about prayer!
-Don’t get
discouraged when you fail.
It’s going to happen. You just need to get back
up again and keep fighting.
-Memorize verses.
Here are some verses that have helped me a lot in my battle against daydreams.
“We are destroying speculations and every
lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every
thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”
2
Corinthians 10:5
“And do not be conformed to this world, but
be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the
will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Romans
12:2
“No temptation has overtaken you but such as
is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted
beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of
escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”
1
Corinthians 10:13
"Keep watching and praying that you may
not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Matthew
26:41
"And the peace of God, which surpasses
all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is
any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
Philippians
4:7-8
“Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil
and he will flee from you.”
James
4:7
“For since He Himself was tempted in that
which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted.”
Hebrews
2:18
Is daydreaming a struggle for you? How are you fighting it? Share in the comments!
I’m starting
to understand the phrase “Hallelujah! All I have is Christ!” because I see now
that He is enough! And not just enough, He is beyond enough! When all you have
is Christ, He can make you sing “Hallelujah!”
