Your Future Husband: 3 Wrong Ways to Think of Him

Don’t deny it. You’ve spent hours imaging what your future husband will look like, or what his personality will be like. Will he have blue eyes? Or brown eyes? Will he be tall? Funny? Will he hold the door open for me? Will he be protective? Good with people?

Of course he will be romantic and gentle and sweet. And of course he will be handsome. We imagine the day he will come in and sweep us off our feet. We carefully watch all the potential options, asking the question, “Is he the one??” Not to mention we have our wedding ALL planned out, down to the table decorations.

These are evidences that God created women to be under the authority and protection of a man. We are under the care, love, and protection of our father, but one day—most likely—we will be under the care, love, and protection of a husband.

I know I have always looked forward to the moment when I’m walking down the aisle in a stunning gown, grinning from ear to ear at the love of my life standing at the alter. We all have our fairy tales and daydreams. These stem from a God-given desire. But we must be careful that we view our future husband and marriage in a way that glorifies our Heavenly Father.

 Here are 3 ways that we should not view our future husband.

1.         Perfect

Your future husband, like your pesky little brother, is a sinner.

“For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”

Romans 3:23

Yes, he will sin. In fact, no matter how great or godly of a guy you marry, there will be times when you at the least feel forgotten and not cared for. He’s not Jesus, and he cannot—or will not—be perfect. You are a selfish person. So is he. You cannot get around that.

2.        Your soul mate

God did not create someone to “complete” you. Don’t get me wrong—I totally believe that God sovereignly has decided who you will marry. That does not mean, however, that this husband will complete who you are. He will not fix all your flaws, and you will not fix all of his.

God created you to be satisfied in Him, not in a human. God created you to be complete and fulfilled in Himself. You will not find the same thing on earth.

3.        As the only guy in the world you can have a godly marriage with

Thirty years down the road, if you wake up in a horrible marriage, that does not mean that you “married the wrong person” or that you cannot please God where you are. It is very likely that you did not see the red flags in the relationship before you got married because you were blinded by emotions. You can be married to hard person out of foolish decisions (though that is not the only cause of a difficult relationship). No matter where you are in life, however, God is still in control and He always has been. He is not caught by surprise.

God has you in a place right now where you can glorify Him. It does not matter where you find yourself—God has a purpose and you can bring Him glory in every situation in life.

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10 Things I Do When I Sin

I’ve heard sin often defined as “messing up” or “making a little mistake.” We would like to call sin that—we would love to make it sound not that serious. However, each and every sin is grievous. But how could doing something as simple as telling a little lie to our parents to avoid trouble be that serious? Let’s look at the heart when we sin and find out what’s really going on.

1.       I call God a liar.

I tell Him that He’s wrong about what will bring me happiness. I tell Him that His power isn’t enough for me to resist temptation.

2.      I make light of His sacrifice and treat His grace cheaply.

I treat His sacrifice like a gumball machine, or fire insurance. It’s something that I get when “I want it.” And it’s always there to save me if I sin. In reality, His grace should be a motive to stop sinning.

3.      I am governed by my dead, sinful flesh instead of by the Spirit of God.

I am not walking according to God’s Spirit, but by the desires and lusts of sinful humanity (Galatians 5:16).  

4.      I elevate myself above the Lordship of Christ, making myself lord.

God says no to our sin. If we say yes to it, we are asserting ourselves to be higher than Him instead of submitting to His Lordship over our lives.

5.      I serve my fleshly appetite instead of crucifying my flesh with Christ.

I am submitting myself to the yoke of slavery and bondage to sin instead of realizing my freedom for righteousness.

6.      I am not trusting in God that He is right.

Going back to making God out to be a liar, I am not trusting God that He knows what is best and I’m even saying that He is wrong about what will bring me happiness.

7.      I am being prideful and exalting myself.

I am not submitting to His rules. I am making my own—though in reality, I am putting myself back under the rule and reign of sin.

8.     I treat His death with contempt.

I am telling Him that I do not need His death, that I do not care about His sacrifice. I am telling Him that I hate His death because there are better things this world has to offer me than what He promises.

9.      I am not believing the promises in His Word.

I am rejecting all of His promises in His Scriptures about what is truly satisfying, lasting, and fulfilling.

10.  I am loving myself more than my God.

I am worshiping and bowing down to myself instead of God. I am loving my flesh, my desires, my lusts more than I am loving God. Loving God is expressed through obedience. If you are not obeying Him, you are not loving Him.

            Just one “little lie,” is far more serious than you realize. Ladies, we have to get a better grip on the gravity of our sin in order to be able to crucify it with Christ.

            This is not supposed to be a burden. Realizing our sinfulness more and more should direct our hearts to thankfulness and praise of Christ that

 He died and removed all of our sin. We should praise His name with all joy for being willing to become these awful sins. How great a God we have! How beautiful His love is for us!

What would you add to the list? How do you view your sin? Share in the comments!

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When Marriage Isn't What You Dreamed

We’re girls. Probably the number one thing we’re most excited for and most looking forward to is marriage. Marriage to the man of our dreams. A man who will make us feel confident, beautiful, loved, cherished. Someone who will give us attention. Someone who will love us for who we are and not what he wants us to be.

But what if marriage isn’t what we wanted? What if horrible things happen? Take a look at this list. I’ve been afraid of ALL of these things happening. 

--What if, on my wedding day, on the way to the wedding, my fiancé gets in a car wreck and dies? (I have heard of this happening!)

--What if he DOES make it to the wedding, but three years after—when I’ve got one child and am pregnant with another—THEN he gets in a car wreck and dies? (I have heard of this happening!)

--What if we can’t have kids??! (Very common.)

--What if everything is great, but then, after fifty wonderful years of marriage, he gets diagnosed with terminal brain cancer? (I know of someone in a situation like this.) How could I handle the grief? How could I live with him deteriorating, knowing that soon, he will be gone?

--What if he SINS???? (No way you’re getting out of this one.)

--What if he is not all that I hoped he would be?

Worrying about these things (as I have done) reveals quite a few things about our heart. It reveals that we are self-focused, we view our future husband as existing for our satisfaction, we are not looking to Christ for our joy and fulfillment, we are not trusting God as being fully sovereign and fully GOOD, and we are not taking into account that WE are sinners too. Guess what? Your poor future husband will be disappointed too to find out that you’re just as bad (and probably worse) than him.

We are all fallen sinners and becoming closer to another fallen sinner is the LAST thing that will solve your problems. We’re all selfish. We all sin.

I was expressing my fears to a friend, and my friend replied, “But isn’t it wonderful that we both have something FAR better to look forward to than marriage? I know that a healthy, godly marriage is one of the most amazing things to experience, but finally seeing Christ and knowing Him by sight will surpass ANYTHING we’re looking forward to here.”

Ladies, that is the perspective we need to have.

It’s not about what happens to you, but how you respond.

Christ is all that we want and MORE. He is so much better than marriage.

You know what? If marriage does indeed turn out to be wonderful for you, guess what that means? Finally seeing Christ will be even better than that!

Have you ever been plagued by fears about your future? How have you wrongly viewed marriage? Share in the comments!

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