Why I Decided to Save My First Kiss for My Wedding Day

This is not a blog post about what you must do or not do in a relationship. It is absolutely your decision when you give your first kiss away. I’ve thought a lot about it, and I have decided to save my first kiss for my wedding day.

It took me a long time to make this decision. I given it much thought, prayed about it, asked many people’s opinions, and read a lot of blog posts on the topic.

I finally decided that I wanted to wait to give my first kiss away. You may decide differently. This post is for you if you are not sure, or simply want to hear some arguments for it. Again, it is not a mandate or anything I’m forcing on you. I do not think that it’s necessarily a sin to kiss outside of marriage—though that’s a completely different discussion—and I think it’s different for every couple and every couple needs to make this decision.

So why did I decide to wait? Here are a few of my reasons.

1.      I don’t want to kiss more than one guy.

         I would not want my future husband to tell me, “So…um…sorry, but I’ve kissed five other girls beside you.” Likewise I don’t want to have to tell him about other guys I’ve kissed. Even if I didn’t tell him, I wouldn’t want to have to think about that, remember that or regret that.

2.     I don’t want unnecessary temptation.

         Especially in the case of a long term relationship, kissing during even an engagement would make it very hard to stay pure. With the way that our culture is permeated with sin, it is already hard enough to keep correct mindsets about things and not fall into temptation. Kissing takes you to another level of temptation. I decided that, for me, I would rather be safe than sorry.

3.     I want to enjoy it fully.

            I do not want to be kissing my fiancé thinking, “Should I be doing this?? Is this okay? Am I sinning? Are we going too far??” I don’t want the joy of being close to someone I love in that way to be overshadowed by the fear that we might be overstepping our bounds.

4.    I want to be as pure as possible on my wedding day.

            I don’t want my attitude in a relationship to ever be, “How close can I get to the line without crossing it?” but “How can I always glorify God and be an example of purity and holiness?” I want to be able to give the gift of my first kiss to my husband. Not my boyfriend. Not my fiancé.

5.     It will be more special.

         When you wait for something longer, when you finally get it, it is so much sweeter. I don’t want to throw away my first kiss and already be casual about kissing by my wedding day. Kisses are far more valuable than this culture will tell you. I want it to be very special when I am finally able to give that gift away.

6.    I don’t want regrets.

         Just because I may not kiss before I’m married in no way means that I somehow automatically won’t have any regrets. But because I do not want regrets, I’m setting boundaries for myself, one of which is to not kiss until I’m married.

Your first kiss is a beautiful gift, young ladies. I strongly encourage you to not throw it away. Think carefully about when you will decide to give it away. Do not be careless about it—be intentional. You do not have to make my same commitment. You may have many valid reasons to kiss your fiancé, etc. But I encourage you to do your own research and come to your own decision, and to do it soon. I strongly encourage you to not enter into a relationship until you have that settled with yourself, and then with the guy you’re dating.

What do you think? Have you come to your own decision on this topic? Do you agree or disagree? Any thoughts or stories? Share in the comments!