6 Misconceptions about Purity

Something as simple as scrolling through social media can confuse our perception of purity and its importance. Our culture has a lot of misconceptions about purity. As a result, many Christian girls growing up today in America are being trained to believe lies about purity. It’s so hard not to believe these lies because they’re so subtle—and they’re all around us.

Misconception 1: Purity is less fun

First of all, just because you say no to flirting, dating around, kissing, etc, doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy your single years. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your guy friends. It just means that you can enjoy your guy friends in a more God-glorifying way.

Secondly, the “fun” that the world defines is a messy, dirty attempt to satisfy yourself by using other people. The results have many messy, dirty consequences. On the outside, a flirty girl who always has a guy with her seems like she’s having fun as she laughs at every joke—funny or otherwise—that escapes his mouth. On the inside, however, she may be trying to piece together her broken heart that has been shattered by so many worthless relationships. The girl who finds herself pregnant in high school isn’t going to live a “fun” rest of her life dealing with the consequences of her decision to “have fun."

Purity isn’t less fun. It’s more responsibility, but all of your friendships—with guys and girls—will be truer, deeper, and based on a platform of respect instead of desire for attention.

Misconception 2: Purity is just more rules/regulations.

Purity doesn’t mean there are more rules for you to follow. Purity isn’t a set of rules. It’s the condition of your heart. Do you desire to pursue Jesus with your whole heart? Do you desire to honor your future husband by keeping yourself pure for him? Do you protect the guys around you as your brothers in Christ?

If you do, it will be reflected in your behavior. You won’t have to worry about being a flirt because your intentions are pure. Your behavior is fruit of your heart.

Misconception 3: Purity is a burden.

This kind of goes along with the last point. Because purity isn’t more rules, and because it’s the condition of your heart, purity isn’t a burden. Pure actions flow out of a pure heart. It is a breath of fresh air to those around you. Purity should never, ever be a burden. If it is, then you are believing a lie from Satan that if you lower your standards a little bit, you will have more fun. You’re believing Satan when you say that purity is cumbersome. You’re believing Satan when you decide to let it all go.

Purity isn’t a burden. It’s a delight—a reward. If you don’t believe that, then you are believing lies.

Misconception 4: Purity isn’t only outward behavior.

Again, purity is about the heart. It is your outlook on life. The thoughts on your mind. The words on your tongue. The desires of your heart. Purity is about your whole being. A girl with impure intentions will not come across as pure even if she tries to behave well. However, a girl with a pure heart before God who loves the people around her will be able to enjoy her friends in a harmless way that will reflect her pure heart.

Misconception 5: Purity is something you will regret.

I promise you—you will never, ever, ever regret the choice to be pure before God and people. Honoring God and honoring people is something that will come back to reward you. God will bless you mightily if you choose to obey His call to purity.

You will look around and see those girls who decided to “have fun” and threw purity out the window. There may be days when it is hard to continue with your convictions. However, Matthew 5:8 says, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

Purity is something you will never regret.

Misconception 6: Purity is easy

This is probably the least common of all the above misconceptions, but it still is present. Purity is hard. Purity is about controlling your entire body—even your thoughts—and striving to honor God with every ounce of your being. That is hard. But God will not leave you alone to do it. God will be right there beside you, giving you the grace and the strength to do it.

Purity isn’t easy, but purity is so worth it.

What are some of the misconceptions you have had about purity? What are some of the lies you have believed? What course of action do you plan to take now? Share in the comments!

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Too Many Failures?

-By Sunny Bodenhamer

“He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.

For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.”

Psalm 103:10-14

I used to think that God didn’t really understand. I used to feel like I was a burden to Him. A pain. I would pray about something I was struggling with, for strength to overcome it and forgiveness for that sin, and then before I knew it, I was doing it again. Then I would realize it, and think to myself, “God must hate me. I’ve failed so many times, He must have given up on me by now.”

Every time those thoughts entered my mind, I could feel the chasm grow between my Heavenly Father and my heart.

I knew that He loves me unconditionally, and that I wasn’t going to lose my salvation just by messing up—I knew He’s not that kind of God—but that was only head knowledge. I came to realize that I didn’t really believe it in my heart, in my soul, deep down where it really counted. I’d grown up in a Christian home with wonderful parents who had taught me those things all my life, but that wasn’t enough. I needed to take hold of my faith as my own, not just something passed down to me by my parents.

Looking back, I remember imagining God holding each one of my failures over my head, looking down from above, just waiting for me to fail again because He couldn’t wait to punish me even bigger this time. I imagined Him saying to Himself, “Look at all this she’s already done, and there she goes again! She’s really going to get it this time!”

But friends, that is a lie straight from the pit that Satan had been feeding me, and I listened! I had been doubting my Savior, who loves me so much He died for me on that cross!

1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”

I was not perfected in His love. I didn’t understand it. I feared punishment, and while yes, it’s true that God is just, and there are consequences to our sin, it doesn’t bring God pleasure to punish us. In fact, it hurts Him to see us make wrong choices and to suffer the consequences. He wants us to succeed, just like any loving father would desire their child to succeed in life.

 “He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so GREAT is His LOVINGKINDNESS toward those who fear Him.

As far as the east is from the west, SO FAR has He REMOVED our transgressions from us.

Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.

For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.”

Psalm 103:10-14

(emphasis added)

Did you get that? Do you see it? He knows we’re human, and we’re going to fail and disappoint Him, but He has compassion on us, because we are His children, and He loves us no matter what. My eyes are tearing up right now, just writing this. I am so overwhelmed when I take time to be still, to remember all He has done for me and how much He loves me.

I can’t help but think of the Casting Crowns song “East to West”:

“In the arms of Your mercy I find rest, cause You know just how far the east is from the west: from one scarred hand to the other…”

So remember today, you are loved more than you will ever know, no matter how many times you fail, no matter what you’ve done, don’t be afraid to come before the Lord again, and ask for forgiveness and a fresh start.

“He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and a bulwark.”

Psalm 91:4

“The steps of a man are established by the Lord, and he delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.”

Psalm 37:23-24

(emphasis added)

Notice this verse says “when he falls,” not “if he falls.” He knows we aren’t perfect and He knows we never will be until we see Him face to face in heaven one day. He understands. He delights in you. You are His beloved child. Rest in Him; believe these truths. Don’t ever doubt His love, as Satan wants. He is holding your hand every step of the way. Believe that in your heart, not just your head. This is so important. The more you doubt and allow Satan’s lies to get in your head, the farther it will drive you away from your Heavenly Father, and that is the worst place to be.

“You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord…”

Jeremiah 29:13-14a

Seek Him with all your heart and you will find Him. He wants to help you. Maybe it’s time you let Him, by believing He loves you unconditionally.

Sunny Bodenhamer is a Christian, homeschooled girl learning to be a light in this crazy, amazing life we’ve been given, reach for the stars, and believe that anything is possible through Jesus Christ. She believes that every day is a miracle full of second chances and beauty, if we stop and take the time to see it. She loves to write, crochet, drink coffee, and hopes to inspire and encourage through the written word.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your failures? What has God taught you through those times? Any stories or thoughts? Share in the comments!

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Satan's Lies vs. God's Truth

We're starting a new series called "Satan's Lies vs. God's Truth." Here is the first installment using Psalm 139! If you would like to contribute to this series, please visit the Guest Posting page!


Satan's Lie: No one understands you.

God’s Truth: “O LORD, You have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

You understand my thought from afar.

You scrutinize my path and my lying down,

And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.

Even before there is a word on my tongue,

Behold O LORD, You know it all.

You have enclosed me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

It is too high, I cannot attain to it.”

Psalm 139:1-6

Satan's Lie: You are alone. God is far away. 

God’s Truth: “Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, You are there;

If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.

If I take the wings of the dawn,

If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,

Even there Your hand will lead me,

And Your right hand will lay hold of me.”

Psalm 139:7-11

Satan’s Lie: This darkness in your life and around you is going to swallow and consume you.

God’s Truth: “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,

And the light around me will be night,’

Even the darkness is not dark to You,

And the night is as bright as the day.

Darkness and light are alike to You.”

Psalm 139:12

Satan’s Lie: She's a lot prettier than you. You're just another ugly face in the crowd.

God’s Truth: “For You formed my inward parts;

You wove me in my mother’s womb.

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Your works,

And my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;

And in Your book were all written

The days that were ordained for me,

When as yet there was not one of them.”

Psalm 139:13-16

Satan’s Lie: Do you really think anyone even knows you exist? If they did, they wouldn't care.

God’s Truth: “How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.

When I awake, I am still with You.”

Psalm 139:17-18

"Search me, O God,

And know my heart;

Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

And see if there be any hurtful way in me,

And lead me in the everlasting way."

Psalm 139:23-24

 Which of these lies have you believed before? What are some others that you believe? What Scripture do you use to combat those lies? 

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