Pure Beauty…Or Pure Shame?

Photo Credits (changes were made)

I was at work, just going through my tasks. I answered emails, sorted through the mail, and did some maintenance around the office, keeping piles of forms shrink wrapped, scratch paper cut up for notes, etc. Then I needed to search for something on the Internet. I pulled up the website, and on the sidebar was a huge picture of a sexy girl in a bikini, and underneath it, it said, “Pure Beauty.”

I closed out of the window and decided I could solve my problem in a way that wasn’t defiling.

But as I continued to work, I kept thinking about how it said underneath, “Pure Beauty.”

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Pure beauty? Pure beauty! PURE BEAUTY??!!

This is the culture’s definition of pure beauty. But is it really? Or is this a lie of Satan?

In the Garden of Eden, when God first made Adam and Eve, He made them without clothes. There was no shame. But then Adam and Eve sinned, and it says in Genesis 3:7, “Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.”

Why?

Because in a sinful, fallen world, they realized their shame.

God later kills an animal and makes them clothing. Clothing is a sign of dependence upon God.

As our culture drifts farther and farther from God, they reject modest covering, choosing instead to wear their shame and call it beauty. But it is NOT pure beauty. It is pure SHAME.

And what does that picture of that scantily clad girl tell us? In order to be beautiful, we have to be like her. In order to be happy, we must be like her.

But DO we want to be like her?

This girl is searching. She’s believing lies. She’s lost her sense of shame and she ISN’T getting what she wants. This is not beauty. The world will lie to you that this is the definition of beauty, but it’s not.

This. Is. Shame.

And this poor, sinful girl is not getting what she thought she would get, because beauty is not found in face or form, but in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

The most beautiful and attractive thing in a woman is her fear of God, her love for Him, and her love for others. The joy seen in the smile of a woman who loves Christ is far more attractive and beautiful than a woman who puts her body on display for men to ogle.

In my home, we call these women Proverbs 7 women. My brothers have been taught to stay far away from Proverbs 7 women. Why? Read Proverbs 7 to find out.

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of the hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

1 Peter 3:3-4

Do not let the culture convince you that beauty is external, or that the more you show, the more beautiful you are. The truth—that Satan will loooooove to keep hidden from you—is that beauty is found in a relationship with Christ. That beauty is not only far more attractive, but it also lasts for eternity.

If you want to read more about clothing, read Girl Defined’s article called, “The Naked Truth about Why We Wear Clothes.”

What lies have you believed in the culture about beauty? What messages do you see plastered over social media, magazines, and the internet? What messages do your friends tell you about beauty? Share in the comments!

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Makeup: It’s Not About You Part 2

I received an email in my inbox after last week’s post, Makeup: It’s Not About You. She asked such a good question that I decided to make a whole blog post on it! Her question involved several issues I would like to cover.

1. When do I start wearing makeup?

2. How do I wear makeup?

3. What if no one else around me wears makeup/approves?

Along the way, I will share about how I started wearing makeup and how I eased into it.

1. When do I start wearing makeup?

What is a good age to start wearing makeup? First of all, I do not believe there is a set age at which you could or should start wearing makeup. It is relative to maturity and makeup need. For me, I had an acne problem. So my mom gave me coverstick to wear as a twelve year old. I also am a fair-skinned redhead/strawberry blonde, so my eyebrows and eyelashes are blonde. My features wash out easily without makeup. At fourteen, I started wearing eyebrow pencil. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I started wearing mascara, foundation, and blush.

This is not a recipe for when everyone should start wearing makeup. Your needs may be different from mine. My advice is to talk to your mom to decide what is best for you. Depending upon your complexion, you may not even need makeup—in which case I would not advise wearing it. I notice more people wear makeup in junior high now. If you can get away without it in junior high, I would recommend that.

2. How do I wear makeup?

Specifically, the question was, “how to avoid being the overkill type?” Again, my best piece of advise is to ask your mom. She will have her definition of makeup overkill, and as the authority in your life, you should respect her definition over mine.

Second, what I would say is to always remember that a little makeup goes a long way. My goal has always been for people to have a conversation with me without thinking about my makeup. I want it to be discreet and natural. I do not want it to be distracting. I accomplish this by wearing very minimal makeup. Just foundation, eyebrow pencil, mascara, coverstick, and occasionally blush. I think you can tastefully wear more makeup than me, but I think you should be careful—especially with eye makeup—since it can quickly become overkill. 

3. What if no one else around me wears makeup/approves?

This was where I was when I started wearing makeup. My friends made comments about it. A lot of people made a big deal about my eyebrow pencil. I hated it being pointed out, as I was pretty self conscious, since most of my friends did not believe in makeup.

First of all, since my mom and I had talked about it and decided makeup was the right choice for me, I kept wearing it despite the “peer pressure.” I learned to not get as annoyed or embarrassed if someone mentioned my makeup.

However, makeup is definitely not worth losing friends over. I would advise you to explain the situation to your mom and ask for her advice. Also, your friends may not be upset with you wearing makeup, but the amount you put on. Your friends could be a great tool in determining in your are an Overkill type.

On the other hand, if it is your family that disapproves, I would definitely advise you to obey your parents and listen to your family.

In summary, my main piece of advice is to take these questions to your mom. She knows you and your situation better than I do and can give you better advice.

What are your thoughts on these issues? How would you answer these questions? When/How did you start wearing makeup? Do you have any other questions or thoughts? Share in the comments!

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Makeup: It’s Not About You

A lot of people have many different views about makeup. Some feel like all makeup is sinful and vain, some don’t care, and others really cake it on.

I do not think makeup in of itself is sinful, but I think it can be used in sinful ways. I think it can be a tool to feed our vanity. But I also think it can be a tool to serve others. We just have to constantly remember that makeup isn’t about us.

One thing I want to say, if you have a conviction against makeup, or are too young to wear it, or your parents have said no, then I am not trying to tell you that is wrong and you need to wear makeup. I just want to talk about some ways we can make our looks be about others, whether or not that involves makeup.

We’re going to talk about two extremes: no effort and overkill.

1.     No effort

This is especially for when you’re married. Do you think it’s considerate to doll yourself up whenever you see him before marriage, but then afterwards—when he’s committed his life to you—you stop caring about how you look and don’t do anything? Is that loving him? No, it’s laziness. It’s putting your comfort above somebody else.

There IS a way to wear makeup and put effort into your appearance without being vain. It’s not about you. It’s about presenting yourself well for the sake of the people who have to be around you all day, and for the sake of Christ. If all Christians were frumpy and ugly, what would the world’s opinion be of Christ?

It is worth it in the morning to put a little extra effort into your appearance.

2.     Overkill

I’ve seen some people recently who did overkill. You look at them and think, “WOW, makeup!” I always imagine them using a chisel to get it off. I was talking to a friend recently who was complaining about someone who wore loads of makeup. She said, “It’s so hard to have a conversation with her because all I’m thinking about is her makeup!”

Ladies, you don’t want to be a distraction. Makeup isn’t about you. If your makeup is so distracting people can’t have a conversation with you, then how do you think you will be able to minister to people? To be an effective witness?

Also, too much makeup can send the wrong signals about your character. The kind of guys who love pure, Christ-like beauty will see you as a sketchy girl. I have always found loads of makeup to be trashy, and in poor taste. The godly guys I’ve talked to very much prefer less makeup. My brother hates the fake look, both in makeup and dyed hair. He much prefers the natural look, as do other guys I know.

Finally, it takes so much time to put on all that makeup! A little extra effort in the morning does not mean and hour, hour and a half, to two hours. That’s vanity, and it’s a waste of your time.

I believe makeup is a tool God gave us to bring out our natural beauty, to serve others, and to take the focus off of ourselves. Makeup shouldn’t be about you. I challenge you to evaluate your heart in this area.

What is your approach to makeup? Are you for it, or against it? Do you fall in one of these categories, or find yourself drifting in one of those directions? Any makeup tips? Share in the comments!

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10 Tips for Conquering Daydreams

Crushes are hard. Crushes are hard to beat. One of the hardest things about having a crush is that you can keep it alive for however long you want (even after it should be long dead), just by daydreaming. You can daydream up a perfect version of your crush. You can daydream up your perfect future family. You can daydream up his feelings for you, and how romantic he’ll be, etc, etc, etc.

Daydreams are POWERFUL.

You may say that daydreams are harmless, but often they can be sinful. God tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Daydreams can sometimes be sinful fantasies that need to be brought under the lordship of Jesus. And they can perpetuate problems such as a crush that needs to die.

So what are some practical ways to beat daydreams?

1. Don’t get discouraged. Just because the past several days weren't good doesn't mean today won't. Don't get bogged down with past failures. God has already gotten rid of those. Just keep running the race.

2. Get control of your emotions. Another thing is to step back and give yourself and your emotions a good mental SHAKE and demand that it come under your control. I know it sounds weird, but it's Biblical! Really! In 1 Corinthians 9, Paul talks about how he "beats his body and makes it his slave." You've got to do that. As a friend of mine put it once, "Sometimes you just gotta take life by the shoulder straps and give a good yell!"

3. Don't read into things he says. I’m a girl, and this is a struggle for me, just like it is for many, many girls. Remember, he’s not proposing to you if he holds open the door for you. Just calm down and take him at face value. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

4. Start (or keep) memorizing verses!! 1 Corinthians 10:13 is a favorite for me right now, as well as 2 Corinthians 10:5. Some others are Psalm 73:28, Isaiah 26:3, and if you feel up to the challenge, Psalm 119. But don’t just memorize them, you have to meditate on them. I love taking walks with my note cards and praying the verses back to God and really pondering what they mean, and what I should do in response to them. If you want to run from certain thoughts in your head, you need to chase after something else--you need to fill your mind with good things.

5. Find out when you're most vulnerable to daydreams. I have a really hard vulnerability time: right after I've turned the lights off and I'm waiting to fall asleep. It's hard because I can't run from the situation—I have to stay and fight. But, if you're vulnerable whenever you're bored, then DON'T LET YOURSELF GET BORED. Go play with your siblings, or your dog, or something. Get ahead on homework. Or do something nice for your mom or dad. Clean your room. Write a devotional or blog post. ;) Write cards! Work on hobbies! The list is limitless. Basically, find when you're most vulnerable and find ways to fight it.

6. Read your Bible ALL THE TIME. Seriously. And I highly encourage you to read at least a little in the Gospels every day. Also, Psalm 119 is amazing. It’s refreshing, and it brings you back to how you should view God’s Word.

7. Start a prayer journal. Have a section for you and a section for others. In the section for you, don't just write prayers, but also song lyrics and verses. Have a page for everyone in the youth group, as well as your family members, etc. Whenever you're tempted, grab that notebook and start scribbling down prayers for your friends! Praying for my friends is a huge thing that helps me.

8. Get accountability. If you’re having a hard day, don’t be afraid to let someone know. If you have a hard time of day that you’re always tempted, then ask a friend to text you during those times to get your mind off of it.

9. Pray and fight. My mom said once, "I know this is cliche, but there's a lot of truth in it: Pray like it's all God and work like it's all you." Pray hard, and pray like prayer is the only thing that's going get you out of this! But then actually do something. Fight like it's all up to you. However, you can rest that it isn't all up to you. But fight like it is.

Do you struggle with daydreams? What should the 10th tip be? Any thoughts, prayer requests, or stories? Share in the comments!

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Follow Me

 

Why do we dress modestly? Why do we act in purity? Why do we talk in a way that honors Christ? Why do we submit to authority? Why do we serve others?

 

“And He said to all, ‘If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.’”

Luke 9:23

 

This verse was a verse I was thinking a lot about since I read it a few weeks ago. Then, I went to a summer camp and this verse was one of the main verses in the theme, “Follow Me.”

What does it mean to follow Christ?

This is something that I have been wrestling with these past few weeks, and I want to share some thoughts, as well as practical areas this applies to.

Principles about following Christ…

 

Principle #1: You are always following something

There is something or someone who is calling the shots in my life. There is something that I am pursuing. Maybe it’s happiness. Security. Affection. Beauty. Popularity. Affirmation. Attention. Boyfriend. Whatever it is, there is something that I’m always following. The question then becomes, “Who am I following?”

 

Principle #2: Following God means following Christ

Hebrews 1:3 talks about how Jesus is the exact imprint of God. We know God through knowing Jesus. If we’re like the Pharisees, who claimed to follow God, but rejected His Son, then we are not following God at all. Jesus is Lord. He is God. We follow God by following His Son. We seek God by seeking His Son.

 

Principle #3: Following Christ isn’t easy

In Luke 9:57-62 Jesus tells people the cost of following Him. He talks about being willing to give up comfort, wealth, and relationships. Then He says in verse 62, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” We have to be ready to give everything up. This is why the way is narrow, and why few enter. Because many are not willing to give up everything.

Following Christ, as Luke 9:23 says is denying yourself, taking up your cross daily, and following Him. It’s saying no to your flesh. It’s dying to yourself and your fleshly impulses and desires. It’s obeying what Christ commands. It’s preferring what He prefers. It’s being willing to give up everything—even your life—in exchange for Jesus. This is what following Christ is.

What does this mean, practically?

 

In modesty, it could mean…

1.      Denying yourself of the pleasure of the attention you might get when you show more skin.

2.     Choosing to love your brothers and sisters around you by putting their needs above your own, and by not selfishly dressing to cause them to stumble.

3.     Preferring what Christ prefers, and obeying His commands.

 

When people insult you and are mean to you, it could mean…

1.      Denying yourself the pleasure of getting even.

2.     Treating them with grace and kindness despite what they did to you.

3.     Remembering that you were the reason the Son of God died a miserable horrible death on the cross—that YOU insulted, mocked, beat, and killed Jesus—and that He still loved you anyway.

 

Right now, I’m sharing a hotel room with four of my siblings. I definitely have many opportunities to follow Christ even when I go to bed at night!

 

Day in and day out, moment by moment, God calls us to follow Him. He calls us to deny ourselves, to take up our crosses, and follow Him. To obey Him. To prefer what He prefers. He gives us innumerable times to practice loving Him and putting Him first. This life isn’t about us. It’s about Christ.

 

Today, what are some practical ways that you can follow Christ? When have you denied your flesh, taken up your cross, and followed Him? Any thoughts or stories? Share in the comments!

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