Our culture is romance-saturated. As young
ladies desiring to be pure in an impure world, we have trouble enough focusing
on Jesus with all the pressure to date for fun. We don’t need the added
temptation of reading and watching a ton of romance.
But
romance novels are so good! Trust me, this wasn't easy for me—I wrote novels for about six years before life got too busy!
I remember that, several years ago, I was obsessed with getting my hands on the next romance novel. But I realized I was becoming more and more discontent, and I realized that I was reading a romance novel in the afternoon and watching romances movies at night.
I remember that, several years ago, I was obsessed with getting my hands on the next romance novel. But I realized I was becoming more and more discontent, and I realized that I was reading a romance novel in the afternoon and watching romances movies at night.
So I put away the book and decided to stop
watching the movies. As a result, I've been an overall much more cheerful person since!
First of all, I want to clarify that there is nothing wrong with reading romance novels or watching romance movies. This post is merely to caution and encourage you to be careful with the type and the amount of romance you intake.
First of all, I want to clarify that there is nothing wrong with reading romance novels or watching romance movies. This post is merely to caution and encourage you to be careful with the type and the amount of romance you intake.
1.
Reading/watching a lot of romance makes me
discontent with my current season in life (and causes me to be less joyful).
As teen girls who aren’t married with several kids,
we have an incredible freedom that will only last a few years! Once I get
married, my life is going to revolve around my family. Ministry is limited and
restricted.
Right now, I’m free.
When I read/watch a lot of romance, I find myself
becoming more and more discontent—and missing the blessings of my single years!
This is such a precious time to deepen our relationship with God and be role
models to our friends! It’s a great time to reach out to the hurting and lost.
It’s a great time to spend in ministry and service!
Discontentment eats away at my joy and
cheerfulness. It makes me throw pity parties for myself, which leads up to my
second point.
2.
It causes me to focus on myself instead of others.
Consuming a lot of romance switches my mind from
ministering to others to feeling sad for myself. It stunts my ministry
potential and causes my mind to drift when I need to be focused.
Also, I heard someone say once you are never more
like Jesus than when praying for others. If I’m caught up in the idea of a
future romance, I’m not thinking about the pains and needs of others.
3.
It zaps my work ethic.
Daydreaming about my future takes time. And it
doesn’t just take time—it takes motivation.
When I’m caught up in what will/could be, I do not
want to work hard. I’m not productive when I’m dreaming about Mr. Right.
To be entirely honest, it’s a waste of my time,
resources, and potential to dwell on when Prince Charming will come sweep me up
off my feet.
Right now, I’m on mission and I do not need
that type of distraction. Reading
4.
It creates an idea of a perfect man that is only
fairy tale.
Yes, God has the right one for me. The man God is
preparing me for will be just right for me.
However, he will be a human. He will be a sinner. He will
not be perfect.
Typically, the guys in movies and books are almost
flawless. Some are flawless. They are perfect gentlemen, dashing, protective,
smart, strong, etc—not to mention, drop-dead handsome.
These guys don’t exist. Every guy on this earth is
a sinner. Even if he’s on fire for Christ, he will fail and I need to be
prepared for that, especially since I am a sinner, too! I will also fail. It is
wrong and hypocritical to create a standard for someone when we cannot live up
to it ourselves.
5.
It distracts me from pursuing Jesus.
Discontentment,
selfishness, silly dreams, and wasting what God has given me is only hindering
my relationship with Jesus. It’s taking my eyes off Him.
“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of
witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin
which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is
set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who
for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat
down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews
12:1-2
Again, however, I want to remind you that this post isn't pushing legalism and rules. You will have your own convictions about this issue. These are my reasons that I avoid a regular and large intake of romance media.
Do you
find that reading and watching a lot of romance stirs up discontentment and distracts you from pursuing
Jesus with your whole heart? Share in the comments!
I find I have the same issue, but with music instead of books and movies. I don't watch a lot of TV or have a lot of time to read for fun, but I listen to music ALL the time, and a lot of my favorite artists sing cutesy love-y songs. sometimes I have to take a break from them and listen to worship music only to refocus my heart
ReplyDeleteYes! I agree: music can be a huge distraction!!! It's tough to put aside the things I enjoy, but in the end, it's always worth it! :) Thank you, Brittanie!! :) :) :)
DeleteI know this is kind of a late reply but I absolutely love that you posted this! It's so true and our focus should really be living for Christ and growing in Him so when the right time does come we can be ready. I also think romantic novels and movies set a worldly standard of perfection and not a perfection of being conformed to the image Christ. Even though we can never achieve it until we get to Heaven, we should always strive for it. Music is a very huge distraction that I have a hard time with too. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you Anna for posting this. It's so helpful!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome, Rachel! :) You have some great observations! Not only can romance novels/movies/music create an image of the perfect guy--they're perfect by the world's standards! Not God's standards! Which is another huge thing!
DeleteThanks for taking the time to comment! :)
As someone who consumes books of (almost) every genre and time era, it's been really discouraging to me how, lately, fiction - particularly Christian fiction - has become absolutely saturated with romance. In fact it gets to the point where it's almost disgusting. It's interesting, with the huge movement among Christians to promote purity in some shape or form (in other words, I may have some issues with this movement), that at the same time, authors are churning out romance after romance after romance... and often not even quality, but just following the same shallow plots, so that they're not really worth reading in the first place.
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to be confused and discontent with those seemingly opposite messages constantly being thrown at us as young women. But ultimately, it comes down to trust. When I'm tempted to be discontent, I (try to) remember that if I were to get married soon, I wouldn't have the opportunities for ministry or experience that God might otherwise open for me. We need to rest in God's timing, follow the path He has for us wherever it leads, and not make self-centered cloud castles for ourselves to worry over.
Oh my goodness, I have been SO disappointed with where Christian romance novels have gone. Now, I'm sure it's not all of them. But not only are Christian novels saturated with romance, but they are full of so much kissing and honestly what seems more like make-out scenes!
DeleteI agree that it is a VERY confusing message to send to young women. I think that that is a very good perspective to have on life. It's so important to just TRUST God's timing and TRUST that He has you where He wants you, right now.
But yeah, it's hard to do that.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Dani!
P.S. If you do have good book recommendations, let me know. :P
Wow! So glad to read this. Reading romance novels indeed makes me more self centered and more. And this blog awakes me! So glad you follow me on IG, if not I wouldn't be able to read this blog and yes, hope for more so relatable blog for teenagers like me struggling to understand the things around us! By the way greetings from Philiplines!!
ReplyDeleteHi Redhoundz! Your comment made my day! So glad you found me! :) I think I accidentally unfollowed you, lol! I re-followed you though, so all's well. ;)
DeleteLife is hard and there's so much confusion for sure. Teen years especially! God has been teaching me more every day about life and I'm so thankful for that, and Him providing an opportunity to share. :) I am so grateful that He used this post in your life. Let me know if there are any particular things you would like me to address, or anything else! Feel free also to DM me. ;)
Thanks so much! And that's so cool you're in the Philippines!