6 Misconceptions About Having a Boyfriend

-By Maddie

          I rushed around, running back and forth between my room and Mom’s. “Can I borrow a necklace? Which one?? I’m not sure!” And then running into the laundry room, “MOM MY PANTS STILL AREN’T DRY!! He’s going to be here in fifteen minutes!!!”

          Since my room faced the front driveway, I had to be careful he didn’t drive up while I had my hair in a towel or something.

          It was the morning of my first date.

          As Mom was helping me be presentable, I told her, “Last night, I had a dream that my makeup was NOT WORKING. Well, first I dreamed I slept way in and only had five minutes to get ready. And then I kept smearing my mascara and I had no time and I was missing the rest of my makeup and it was a BIG DISASTER.”

          Despite a bit of a frazzled morning until he showed up at 7am to take me to breakfast, we are still together over a year later.

          There’s a lot that I’ve learned over that year. One of them is how much I have yet to learn! But, coming from the mouth of someone who’s had a boyfriend for over a year, I can tell you about 6 misconceptions about having a boyfriend.

1. You will be happier

          In some ways, this is true. Overall, it’s not. Those few months after I started dating were some of the most exciting, emotional, and honestly discontent months of my life. Not discontent with my boyfriend—no, he was great. Discontent with life. Why? Because I had been expecting him to make me so much happier. But a boyfriend doesn’t MAKE you happy.

          I had to come to the conclusion that God can be my only source of true joy and lasting happiness. That overflowed into my relationship, making it very joyous and satisfying. But that joy came from the joy I found in Christ alone.

          There are butterflies and excitement, but it is so temporary. It is only joy in Christ that is the sweetest and it will never end.

2. Your problem with insecurity will go away

          Those few months after I started dating also happened to be the most insecure months of my life. When I tell people that, they are so confused. “Why on earth???!” They ask. Let me explain.

          For the first time in my life, I had a guy. And I desperately did not want to lose him. I decided the prettier I was, the more likely he was to stay.

          That was completely contrary to this sweet guy who told me he wasn’t dating me for my looks, but my personality and relationship with Christ. He said my beauty came from those things.

          It revealed a pride and a selfishness in my heart that I did not know was there. A boyfriend doesn’t make your insecurity go away. It can only go away in Christ. Once I realized that, I found so much peace on the issue. I also got to know my boyfriend better and realized just how blessed I was—and I didn’t need to worry about losing him to prettier girls.

          But ultimately, peace about my looks came from Christ. It can only come from Christ because He created me. I can trust Him that He gave me my looks for a reason.

3. Your walk with Christ will be richer

          It was actually really hard to focus on God when I was so enraptured with this guy. Adding a third person won’t make your walk with Jesus fuller. Jesus is more than enough. If you feel like you need a guy in order to get closer to God, then you do not know Him.

4. You will never feel lonely

          Nope. You may be in a relationship with someone but you can still be very far away from them. This happened to me when we had misunderstandings or I had ridiculous expectations.

          Companionship is a wonderful thing, but sin always drives a wedge. My sin has driven a wedge between us so many times. That’s when the loneliness seeps in. When sin takes over.

5. It’s all about having fun

          Dating is great. I’ve enjoyed it a lot. But the joy of dating doesn’t come from having a super-hot boyfriend. It comes from taking time to work through problems. It comes from choosing to respond like Jesus would even when you just want to pout and throw a pity-party.

          Dating isn’t about fun. It’s about getting a lot of the dirty work out of the way before marriage. Like talking through hard issues and making sure you align enough on the big things to get married.

6. It’s easy

          Just like it’s not about having fun and games, it’s not easy. You will find you struggle with sin that you didn’t realize you did.

          Sin will make you isolate yourself. Instead of working through problems, it will make you run. That is just more sin. Dating is not easy, but it is so rewarding.

          The more effort you put into a solid relationship, the more you will reap the benefits.

           But the only way to truly enjoy and be satisfied in a relationship is to first find your joy and satisfaction and contentment in the person and saving work of Jesus Christ.

What misconceptions have YOU had about dating? Which of these was the most surprising? For those of you who are dating, what did you do for your first date? :) Comment below! And also take a moment to read this post: 6 Misconceptions About Purity.