When I was younger, I did not understand the
balance of having a crush and living life in pursuit of Christ. My first crush
was a complete disaster to my life because it took over my emotions, my mind,
my energy, and my time. When I saw him, I floated. When I was at home, I was a
wreck.
I was obsessed.
I remember finally getting to a point where I was
like, “I cannot live like this. I need to beat this crush. It cannot rule my
life.”
The feelings of affection for someone honorable and
God-fearing who you could actually see yourself spending your life with are one
thing. The obsession and idolization of a guy is another completely different
ball game.
How do you know when you’re obsessed with your
crush?
1.
You daydream
Don’t deny
that when you like someone, you daydream. Which is normal and natural. But you
need to be careful of conjuring up sinful fantasies, or making up your perfect
guy. Or taking the guy you like and making him into something he isn’t! Daydreaming
can QUICKLY get out of hand, and if you find yourself constantly daydreaming,
that’s a big red flag that you’re obsessed with your crush.
2.
You aren’t as interested in reading your Bible. You
talk to an imaginary guy instead of God, etc.
This is really
bad. If a guy takes the place of God in your life, then he’s becoming an idol,
and that is sinful. A guy cannot replace
God. Because he’s human! The only way we can truly love and enjoy a guy is to
first love and enjoy Christ. If our needs are not met in Jesus, then we will
become a needy parasite that he will want to get away from.
3.
You don’t work as hard
Your work
ethic goes ZAP! Instead of doing school or working, you are sitting there
chewing on your pencil imagining him rescuing you from a terrifying situation.
If you cannot get anything done in a day because you’re thinking about your
crush, then that is a sign that you are obsessed with him.
4.
Your joy is dependent on whether or not he shows
up, responds to your text message…etc.
You’re kind
of dumpy at home. Instead of finding a deeply rooted sense of joy in the person
and reality of Christ, your happiness is as shallow as whether or not he smiles
at you.
5.
You view your girl friends as competition
Your best
friends become rivals. Your crush cannot talk and joke with another girl
without you getting envious of them, and angry at him at “not being faithful,”
even if you have no right to him.
6.
You look to him to meet your needs
You need his
smile to be happy. You need his attention to feel worth and value. You need him
to like you in order to have an identity.
If you do any of these things, it might be a sign
that your crush has become too high of a priority in your life. All of these
are extremely dangerous. We cannot find our joy, identity, and worth in another
human being. Those are needs that only Christ can need. If you want to love
your future husband, you need to first have your needs met in Christ so that
you can pour into him. A guy will always fail you, even if he’s the most
incredibly godly person on the planet. And you will be a drain on him if you
expect him to meet your needs.
Have you
ever been obsessed with your crush? What are other signs that you are obsessed
with your crush? What tips do you have for solving this problem? Share in the comments!
I read this post awhile ago, but reading it again, I feel like it truly applies to me. I feel those exact same things. After reading this again, however, I realize that I don't need a guy in my life to be happy...in fact I don't need a guy at all! Thank you for sharing this, Anna. It is such a great encouragement and reminder:)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for taking the time to comment and let me know! I am so glad to hear that!
DeleteBeing in a place of obsession with a guy is a hard place to be in (I've been there way too many times). But God never LEAVES you there, which is always my hope. Guys are a blessing and having a boyfriend/husband is a wonderful gift from God, but that's not life's GOAL and it's not where meaning is found.
Thanks for commenting! Keep pursuing Him. :)
For about a year now, I’ve liked this guy and after half of that time...I realized my life revolved around him. When he talked to me, I wondered if he cared for me and if we may end up as a couple. I even thought about getting close to his friends and influencing them to bring us together. After I actually thought about how I was acting, I realized how disturbing my life was. Many times, I asked how I could do those things and so on. About two months ago, I finally asked God to protect me and influence me in ways that my obsession becomes a Godly love caring for his future and my own. A love without selfish ambition and ungodly attraction. I have made strides toward this and I can confidently say that there has been progress and he has made into a better person. The crush I had turned into a person I respected for his Christ-like lifestyle and love for others and God. In the future, I long to grow as a better Christian and hope he does too.
ReplyDelete