When Marriage Isn't What You Dreamed

We’re girls. Probably the number one thing we’re most excited for and most looking forward to is marriage. Marriage to the man of our dreams. A man who will make us feel confident, beautiful, loved, cherished. Someone who will give us attention. Someone who will love us for who we are and not what he wants us to be.

But what if marriage isn’t what we wanted? What if horrible things happen? Take a look at this list. I’ve been afraid of ALL of these things happening. 

--What if, on my wedding day, on the way to the wedding, my fiancé gets in a car wreck and dies? (I have heard of this happening!)

--What if he DOES make it to the wedding, but three years after—when I’ve got one child and am pregnant with another—THEN he gets in a car wreck and dies? (I have heard of this happening!)

--What if we can’t have kids??! (Very common.)

--What if everything is great, but then, after fifty wonderful years of marriage, he gets diagnosed with terminal brain cancer? (I know of someone in a situation like this.) How could I handle the grief? How could I live with him deteriorating, knowing that soon, he will be gone?

--What if he SINS???? (No way you’re getting out of this one.)

--What if he is not all that I hoped he would be?

Worrying about these things (as I have done) reveals quite a few things about our heart. It reveals that we are self-focused, we view our future husband as existing for our satisfaction, we are not looking to Christ for our joy and fulfillment, we are not trusting God as being fully sovereign and fully GOOD, and we are not taking into account that WE are sinners too. Guess what? Your poor future husband will be disappointed too to find out that you’re just as bad (and probably worse) than him.

We are all fallen sinners and becoming closer to another fallen sinner is the LAST thing that will solve your problems. We’re all selfish. We all sin.

I was expressing my fears to a friend, and my friend replied, “But isn’t it wonderful that we both have something FAR better to look forward to than marriage? I know that a healthy, godly marriage is one of the most amazing things to experience, but finally seeing Christ and knowing Him by sight will surpass ANYTHING we’re looking forward to here.”

Ladies, that is the perspective we need to have.

It’s not about what happens to you, but how you respond.

Christ is all that we want and MORE. He is so much better than marriage.

You know what? If marriage does indeed turn out to be wonderful for you, guess what that means? Finally seeing Christ will be even better than that!

Have you ever been plagued by fears about your future? How have you wrongly viewed marriage? Share in the comments!