Can I Have a Guy Best Friend? | The Pros and Cons

Anastasis Faith
         A few years ago, my response to this question would have been an emphatic, “NO!” But now I realize that was a hasty response for me. There are a lot of factors in this discussion—and I think it’s a discussion worth having.


          Should you have a guy best friend? Is that okay?


Can I Have a Guy Best Friend?


          I’m not going to tell you one way or the other. That is for you and your family to decide. These pros and cons are here for you to think about it and discuss it with your family.


          What are the pros and cons of a guy best friend?


Pros

          -You get to see life from a different perspective. I’ve learned so much about God from the different perspectives of the guys around me.

          -It’s FAR less complicated typically(unless you make it complicated). If you take what they say at face value, you will be surprised at how refreshing and comparatively “simple” your friendship can be.

          -You get to let off on the comparison and competition. You don’t have to worry about that with guys.

          -If you’re good friends with a godly guy you can trust, you can feel safe and secure that he will come to your aid if you’re ever in a dangerous situation.

          -You learn how to get to know a guy in preparation for marriage. Maybe your “friendship” with a guy is more like a friendship on steroids or “friend-lationship.” You could be getting to know the guy to see if he might be “the one.” But if he’s not, you’ve had experience becoming good friends with a guy.

Cons

          -If you get too close, you could get hurt easily if you had feelings for him, or even if you didn’t and he got a girlfriend.

          -It can be dangerous to get close to guys you have no intention of dating. You may lead them on and hurt them, or you may be setting yourself up for unfaithfulness if you maintain this friendship into your marriage to someone else. This may not be a concern in some circumstances, but the regular practice of it throughout your life definitely is a concern.

          -You may use him as a security blanket instead of God.

          -It gets hard to guard your heart.

          -You may be encouraging yourself to be boy-crazy.

          -You may neglect your friendship with other girls.

          -You may be dragged into a private friendship via texting or email that could be dangerous.

          -It might not look above reproach.



          Having a guy best friend may be fine. However, there are many, many cautions I have and I would urge you to consider it carefully. I would not encourage close friendships with guys until you’re in the dating age-range, and I would definitely counsel you to talk it over with your family.


          There are definitely exceptions to all of this, but these are some general guidelines and principles to think about when making this decision for yourself.

What are your thoughts on this issue? For you, do you think it’s okay to have a close guy friend? If you could add another pro or con, what would you add? Share in the comments!

Anastasis Faith / Author & Editor

Anastasis is a Texas girl who enjoys writing, blogging, and music. You can connect with her here on her blog, or at morningglorypursuingjesus @yahoo.com

2 comments:

  1. In my experience once my guy friends hit puberty they no longer wanted to be friends with a girl, who could outrun, out play and outride them. Especially once I got taller than them. Now we are almost 18 and are just casual friends. He out grew me by 6 inches!

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    Replies
    1. Lol! You bring up another dynamic to this question--that being best friends with a guy may not even be an option because he doesn't want to be friend with you.

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Abigale!

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