10 Tips for Beating a Crush: Tip 6

6.   Avoid things that cause you to think often of romance.

Check out my post, “5 Reasons I Avoid Romance Novels and Movies.” Whether it’s books, movies, music, the Internet, or whatever, run from things that cause you to stumble. Romance books and movies are usually the hardest things for me, which is why I decided to put them away.  Though I usually listen to Christian music, the times that I’ve listened to love songs have hurt me more than helped. They make me wish that I had a boyfriend and make me view guys as there to satisfy me.

That is a wrong thought. Guys are not on earth for us. Guys are not going to satisfy us, though much of today’s media will try to convince you of that. Only God can satisfy us. When we get caught up in romantic thoughts and daydreams, it’s super hard to focus on God and respect the guys around us as brothers. 

It is very helpful to just put aside the music, books, movies, certain blogs, etc. Whenever I focus on other people’s relationships and romance, it becomes easy for me to be discontent and want what they have.

This tip is closely tied to Tip 2: Don’t Daydream. How much time you spend consuming romantic media will directly affect how often you feel inclined to daydream.

There is a time and place for romance media. There are some romance novels and movies that do not bother me at all. The romance media that tend to be harmful to me are the ones that emphasize looks, physical touch, and feelings. Again, they are pushing the lie that if you snag a cute guy, you’re going to be happy. They’re trying to get you to believe that if you don’t have a super hot guy, you’re not going to be happy. For more on being satisfied in Christ instead of guys, read this post.

They also try to make us believe that the only way we can get a hot guy is to be a hot girl. This totally ramps up the insecurities in our lives. It can tempt us to dress or act immodestly to get attention. If you don't believe me that having a guy won't make your insecurities go away, read this post.

By consuming large amounts romantic media, we set ourselves up for failure in beating a crush. By putting these things aside, we tell God that we desire to pursue Him and that we don’t want to be distracted by the things of this world.

If you’re looking to eradicate your crush, this is extremely important. Getting rid of these influences will have far reaching benefits. If you’re trying to manage your crush, it can keep you from wanting to jump to the Next Step in the relationship, whatever that may be.

Again, I encourage you to read the post, “5 Reasons I Avoid Romance Novels and Movies,” for more on this topic.

Practical Tips:

            -Root out the problem. Whenever you find yourself slipping into more daydreams, a melancholy attitude, and losing the desire to work hard, ask yourself if you’ve been consuming romantic media.

            -Do research on the books and movies you want to read/watch beforehand. It’s better to not start a book that has too much romance than to have to put it aside halfway. Plugged In is my favorite resource for checking out movies before I see them.

            -Avoid secular music. Another hard one, but replacing breakup songs with songs that praise God is a huge step in beating a crush and eliminating distractions. On the days that I listen to worship music, I’ve found it’s a billion times easier to not get distracted.

            -As hard as it sounds, put away the stumbling blocks. It’s not easy to put aside a great novel, but if the romance is defiling you, then it’s necessary. I had to walk away from both a movie series and a novel that I was in the middle of because they were hurting me.

"So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart."

2 Timothy 2:22

Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."

1 Corinthians 15:33

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.

Romans 13:14

Do you consume lots of romantic media? When do you think it’s okay to do so, and when do you think that it’s harmful? Any stories? Share in the comments!