10 Tips for Beating a Crush: The Heart

Beating a crush is one of the hardest and most complicated things to do as a teen girl. Even though many of us would admit that we’d prefer to be totally sold out for God and not interested in guys, we can’t deny the facts. Crushes are fun, especially if they’re mutual. They make you feel good. 

But there’s another side to them. They have the potential to completely ruin your life. Crushes seem huge, daunting, overwhelming—not conquerable. They can often make us feel helpless. Like we have no control.

They distract us from day-to-day life. If you email/text/snapchat/etc him, then more than often, you’re constantly checking your phone or laptop to see if he wrote back. When he’s in the room, you can’t focus on your friends. You have to find a way to be in his conversation. When he isn’t around, you’re either grumpy or you’re talking about him—or both. You’re asking your friends, “Do you think he likes me? Do you think he’s ‘The One’ for me?”  
You’re imagining how he will propose to you. Your wedding. Your future. 

Crushes are hard to deal with. Especially when they’re big. They’re draining. And you don’t get anything back. They only leave you emptier.

Beating a crush is hard because, often, you don’t want to beat it. 
It’s easier, simpler, and more fun just to let your heart run loose.

And you can’t beat a crush unless you want to. I’ve found that in situations like that in my own life, I have to take it to God and say, “Lord, I want to have a crush. But I want to want to not have a crush. I want to want to pursue You with my whole heart. Please give me the desire to run after You. Please give me the strength to fight.”

I’m not saying that crushes are sinful, but I am saying that I believe they can easily lead to sin. Probably the number one sin you can commit with a crush is putting him above God.  That is the sin of idolatry.
Who do you think about more? God, or a guy? If you say guy, then you’ve put him as a higher priority than God.

So, we’ve established that crushes are very cumbersome and in some cases, sinful. How do we beat the #1 problem in a teen girl’s life? How do we apply Hebrews 12:1-2? 

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:1-2

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to post some tips that I and others have found helpful for beating a crush. They’re not 100% guaranteed to work or your money back. Please understand that I do not write this as one who has arrived and has all the answers. I write this as someone who is searching and who is there in the trenches with you, fighting. I don’t have all the answers, but I have been there. And I have learned so, so much.

If you have a crush that you know you shouldn’t have, such as a crush on an unbeliever, a very weak Christian, an immature guy, etc, then you should view this series as tips to help you eradicate the crush.

If you have a crush on a godly guy who you could actually see yourself spending your life with, then you should view this series as tips to help you manage your crush. In this case, beating a crush isn’t so much about beating physical attraction than it is about beating the distraction of a crush. We want to “lay aside every encumbrance,” and get rid of distractions. God should always have first place in our lives. Especially when we’re too young for commitment, we need to learn to keep our crushes under control.

Also know that the next series of posts isn’t going to help you unless you have a desire to eradicate/manage your crush. 
I encourage you to  spend some time in prayer and ask Jesus to change your heart. Ask Him to cause you to desire Him more than anything else in this world. Ask Him to open your eyes to see that He truly is all you need and that He alone can satisfy you. Without Jesus to fill your heart, you will simply run back to a guy. We’re too weak to fight. Only by God’s strength through God’s grace can we beat a crush. 

Come back next week for the first tip on how to beat a crush!

Are you struggling to beat a crush? Do you feel like it’s overwhelming? What has God taught you, either through feeling bound by a crush or by defeating one? Share in the comments!