I remember being obsessed with this boy years and years ago. I would see him at church, float for a few hours, and then crash at home.
I would sob and sob as soon as I closed the door to my room. Back then, I journaled every day. I poured out my desperation--I was so obsessed, I liked him so bad! But I was only twelve and there was nothing I could do about it.
Must I wait ten years with these overwhelming feelings? I wrote in my journal.
God took my shambled emotions and slowly built up something much stronger.
I want to live a life in pursuit of Christ. Sometimes crushes can be distracting. Sometimes they are harmful. Other times they are good, but simply need to be managed.
By no means is anything perfect, but I have learned so much. I hope that if you are struggling in this area this series will be a blessing, challenge, and encouragement to you.
If you missed the post, “Ten
Tips for Beating a Crush—The Heart,” I high encourage you to read that before reading this post. Having all the
practical tips in the world won’t help unless you have a heart that desires to
put Christ above all else.
Now on to today’s tip for beating a crush!
1. Change your
mindset
Change
your mindset from “I’m out of control!” to “I’m not bound to my feelings.” I don’t have to be driven by my emotions.
“Everyone
who competes in the games exercises self-control
in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an
imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such
a way, as not beating the air; but I
discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to
others, I myself will not be disqualified.”
Don’t build your life upon your emotions. Discipline
your emotions—take control of them!
And ultimately, let Christ drive your
emotions, rather than letting your emotions drive your attitude toward God.
Yes, emotions are hard to control, but through
God’s grace, we can overcome our feelings and surrender them back to God.
Change
your mindset from “I need a guy” to “I need God.”
Because YOU DON’T NEED A GUY. God created you to need Him, not a guy. In the case of most of us, God probably did create us to be the helpmeet for a certain guy. But right now, when we’re not married, we don’t need a guy. Even when we’re married, God is our true need and fulfillment. Putting aside the mindset of “I need a guy” has helped me realize more and more that I need God.
Because YOU DON’T NEED A GUY. God created you to need Him, not a guy. In the case of most of us, God probably did create us to be the helpmeet for a certain guy. But right now, when we’re not married, we don’t need a guy. Even when we’re married, God is our true need and fulfillment. Putting aside the mindset of “I need a guy” has helped me realize more and more that I need God.
“And my
God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ
Jesus." Philippians 4:19
“So we can
confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to
me?’” Hebrews 13:6
Change
your mindset from “potential husband” to “brother in Christ.”
A good
way to do this is to not allow yourself to think of him in a way that you
wouldn’t think of your brother
(assuming you have a brother). This helped me a lot. Also, pray for him. And
not prayers like, “God, please help him like me.”
Remember that guys struggle a lot and they’re fighting sin in their lives just like we are. Especially in this culture and world, our brothers in Christ need our prayers, not our flirtations (read why I don't flirt here). Pray for them that God would give them strength and build them into the leaders they are called to be.
Remember that guys struggle a lot and they’re fighting sin in their lives just like we are. Especially in this culture and world, our brothers in Christ need our prayers, not our flirtations (read why I don't flirt here). Pray for them that God would give them strength and build them into the leaders they are called to be.
“Therefore,
confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be
healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”
“How can a
young man keep his way pure?
By keeping
it according to Your Word.”
We need to change our mindset from what Satan and
the world wants us to believe to the truth found in God’s Word. Changing
your mindset about yourself and the guys around you is a huge step in beating a
crush.
What are
your thoughts? Have you found yourself overwhelmed by your emotions? What lies
have you believed about guys? What has God been teaching you about staying
focused on Him through a crush? Share your comments!
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