10 Tips for Beating a Crush: Tip 2

When I was younger, we lived almost thirty minutes away from our church—or really anything in town. There was no “quick trip to the grocery store.” We were way out in the country. Car rides can be pretty boring, but I always found them to be a wonderful opportunity to daydream about my crush.

          The daydreams were anything from replaying over the last time I saw him to imaging his face when I walked down the aisle.
          Need I say that I often daydreamed about things that would, and usually could, never happen?
          And I made daydreaming a habit of mine.

          Daydreams can certainly become oppressive. They are powerful. This is probably the hardest, but most effective way to beat a crush. From my own life experience as well as conversations I’ve had with other girls, daydreaming is one of the easiest ways to get emotionally attached and one of the hardest things to beat. It’s fun and it feels good. From our vantage point, it also doesn’t seem to have any consequences. In truth, however, the consequences are very dangerous.

          Our second tip, then, is this.

don’t daydream

          You can get emotionally attached extremely easily by daydreaming and before you know it, you’ve given your heart away. When you’re married, do you want to be plagued by thoughts of crushes you had when you were younger? Or would you rather be completely devoted to your husband and honoring Jesus?

          A good rule of thumb, also mentioned in Tip 1, applies: don’t think about him in a way that you wouldn’t think about your brother.

          For those of you looking to get rid of your crush, you must do this. Even if you apply ever other tip that’s going to be posted, if you keep daydreaming about him, everything else will be a waste. Fighting a crush and getting rid of it means you can’t indulge in those fleeting moments of pleasure.

          For those of you trying to manage your crushes, daydreaming is one of the big things that can cause you to desire The Next Step in the relationship. It can make you want to move things along faster than they should. If he’s not serious about a future with you, it will probably scare him off if you are.

          Daydreaming gives away your emotions and heart faster than you can blink. It’s extremely dangerous, but it is possible to beat it. Here are the stories of two girls who are actively fighting their daydreams.

          As Taylor writes,

          Do you ever go in default mode and all you can think about is one guy or trying to determine what he's doing at this very moment? I know I do. After several months, I asked myself why this guy was all I would think about. Why was I letting him control my life? I am not even old enough to be in a relationship with intentions of marrying soon.

          That is when I decided to stop daydreaming about this guy with my every waking and sleeping moments. I decided to live my life with purposeful thinking and letting Jesus control my thoughts.

          Asking God to control all my thoughts is so much better than being buried in daydreams about someone.

          Are you willing to fight daydreaming? It’s a hard task that seems to be never ending, full of ups and downs. But as Taylor said, it’s so much better to let God control our thoughts than to daydream.

          Christy shares her story.

          I have a sneaky little habit of getting attached to people, and this can become dangerous if it is left unchecked. In high school, I knew very few boys who were serious about anything. But in college, I met guys who I knew were prayer warriors, guys who exhibited joy even in trials, guys who really loved their families—the kind of things that I was attracted to. So then I would start to fixate my mind on them and daydream about all the possible ways our friendship could have gone.

          I had a couple crushes in college. They began by “liking" the guy, which is pretty innocent and normal, and then becoming their friend. After that, it would develop into basically daydreaming about our future together (I'm kind of a hopeless romantic). Whenever it got to this stage and I realized it, I would have to mentally force myself to stop thinking this way. It was unhealthy, because it caused me to desire something that is not mine—a romantic relationship with a boy that I am not in a committed relationship with.

          The best defense I have found is prayer. Usually, the prayer includes these aspects:

          -thanking God for giving me the friendship and example of a godly man.

          -asking Him to give me clarity in my emotions/discernment.

          -praying that God would help me to desire Him above all else and have peace in my singleness.

          -praying for the guy to have discernment and boldness to initiate something between us, if that is God's will.

          Both Taylor and Christy were willing to put God first in their thought life. I encourage all of you to make a commitment to stop daydreaming, hard as it may be. But remember that it can only be accomplished in God’s strength, through His grace in your life.

Practical Action Tips:

-Setting up springboards for your mind. 
When you find your mind drifting to daydreaming, you need to jump to a different thought. Bible verses are great springboards. Check out The Springboard Approach by Liza Grace for more details on how to do that.

-Pinpoint when you’re most vulnerable to daydreams. 
Is it during history class? Take more notes—or at least doodle! Something to keep your focus. Find out when it’s easiest for you to slip into daydreams. Then arrange your day so that daydreaming at that time isn’t an option.

-Live in the moment. 
As someone recently wrote me, “God's will is for me to be in that moment, engaged with the people I am with or doing the tasks I need to be doing. When you daydream, you rob others of your mental and emotional presence, and you are sinning when you ignore the moment God has put you in.”

-Follow Christy’s advice about prayer!

-Don’t get discouraged when you fail. 
It’s going to happen. You just need to get back up again and keep fighting.

-Check out the blog post 10 Tips for Conquering Daydreams.

-Memorize verses. 
Here are some verses that have helped me a lot in my battle against daydreams.

“We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”

2 Corinthians 10:5

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Romans 12:2

“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”

1 Corinthians 10:13

"Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Matthew 26:41

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

Philippians 4:7-8

“Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”

James 4:7

“For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted.”

Hebrews 2:18

  Is daydreaming a struggle for you? How are you fighting it? Share in the comments!